The three levels of listening

Listen

Seeing a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon, a man decides to lend it a hand. He takes a pair of scissors and very carefully he cuts the cocoon open. Now the butterfly can move freely and fly away – he thinks. But that’s not what happens at all! The butterfly … Read full story

The art of real communication

miscommunicatie

Don’t you just love sitting at a table on a café terrace outside and watching people go by? And is there anything more satisfying than being able to comment on someone based on their facial expression, the way they walk, the clothes and perfume they’re wearing, how they use their hands, etc? … Read full story

Bananas for the advanced

Wie lust er een banaan?

Imagine a cage full of monkeys. A banana is suspended from the ceiling, and a ladder placed directly underneath it. It isn’t very long before a monkey sees the banana and starts climbing the ladder. But as soon as it does so, all the monkeys in the cage get sprayed with ice-cold … Read full story

The art of storytelling

bedrijfsverhalen

We all tell stories or listen to them. For example, when bringing the children to bed, or at parties or commemorations, in the theatre, when we sit around the campfire or at home on the settee, etc. It’s something universal and it’s a part of every culture. Apart from the fact that … Read full story

The conversation

Het gesprek

It’s Monday morning and you walk into the meeting room. ‘Hi Cindy, how was your weekend?’ ‘Great, and yours?’ ‘Fine thanks. What’s on the agenda today?’ And the conversation switches to work. Sound familiar? Otto Scharmer describes these kinds of polite exchanges in his book ‘Theory U: Leading from the future as … Read full story

Friendship

vriendschap

Just imagine this: you have everything you could want. A fine house, more than enough money, holidays whenever you want to take them, good health, etc. But you don’t have anybody to share these with. Can you still be happy? Not according to the American social psychologist Roy Baumeister. His research leads him … Read full story

Basje

Basje

This time the newsletter is a special one, written for you by Gerrie Vogels. It is one of the entries I received in response to the challenge I issued to my readers to write their own newsletter. I chose this entry because of the personal story Gerrie tells and the theme it … Read full story

‘Problematic’ people

lastigemedewerkers

People often ask me what a manager or a team can do about someone who won’t cooperate. The type of problematic individual who behaves ‘antisocially’ (whatever that may mean), who constantly says ‘Yes but…’ (and really means ‘No’), who says ‘Yes’ but does ‘No’ (you can’t count on him), etc. Do you … Read full story

The DAS model of communication styles

dashandig

I recently received an email from a reader in which she said: ‘During the last few weeks I have been sitting in on a couple of management team meetings as an observer, and now and then I can’t help noticing that they communicate with each other ‘like apes’. It’s the egos that … Read full story